i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
