Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
