I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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