awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
