I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
