I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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