I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
