Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
