this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
