I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
