I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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