I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
