How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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