I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
