Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
