how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
