i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
