Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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