TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
