i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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