what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
