he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize