Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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