super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
