woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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