No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
