if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
