Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Are my feet made of real feet?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
