did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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