The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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