so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
