Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So squirting runs in the family.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
