did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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