Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
