Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
