i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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