So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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