Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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