You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Congratulations! We have a period
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
