AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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