if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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