I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
love makes seman taste better
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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