He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
