Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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