dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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