just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
