I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
