glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
