what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the condom got lost in my hair
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
