Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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