OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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