So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
