is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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