Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
