Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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