Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's never too late to be topless.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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